Kindergarten is Coming

Family Friday



She wore only a diaper and laid comfortable against my chest, slightly tucked inside my nightgown as I sat on the hospital bed still hooked up to machines.

I had had an severe allergic reaction to the bandaging used after my c-section, but that didn’t matter.  This little girl against my chest, all 7 lbs 11 ounces of her, was now my life.

I was now a mother and this was the greatest title I could ever take on in my life.  I was now responsible for a life beyond my own.

That was almost five years ago.


Now we are not only approaching her fifth birthday, but she will be starting kindergarten at the end of August.


I am amazed at the young lady she has become. She talks.  Oh, she can talk.  But she has a vocabulary you would never imagine from a child so young.  She uses words like “trepidation” properly.  She has also mastered the art of sarcasm… this could cause a problem.

She loves dancing, tumbling and soccer. She wants to get more into swimming and gymnastics. She loves music (we’re still not sure if she sings like me or like my grandma – if you know us you know the spectrum that is).  She wants to learn to play guitar. She loves art and has said that she would like to be an artist when she grows up and be a children’s book illustrator.  Maybe one day I will write a book and she will draw the pictures.


She is incredibly compassionate.  This past week I donated blood to the Red Cross.  I’m not sure she completely understood what I was doing.  After they hooked me up she came and handed me her beloved teddy bear and told me she hoped I would feel better soon.

She has an infectious personality. It is hard not to smile when she is around.


I am incredibly proud of the young lady my baby girl is becoming.  But as she nears her fifth birthday and the start of kindergarten, I struggle with being ready to let go of my baby and embrace my young lady.

I still see the tiny baby. I still see the little girl who would stand up from the middle of the floor and the when she lost her balance wouldn’t fall on her bottom but instead slid slowly to the ground using her face (she spent a good two months with rug burns on her face while learning to walk).  I still see the tiny girl who would stand in front of the alter while I helped prepare music for church.

And now standing before me is not a baby or toddler, but a girl. A girl who will grow faster than I am ready to accept. A girl with her own passions and interests.  I know I will always see that baby even when I watch her graduate from high school I will still hear in my mind her saying “uh oh, it dips-appeared” when something was no longer where she left it.

Where I once held a baby… I now have a beautiful, passionate, compassionate, wonderful young lady.



When Did I Blink?

Train up a child in the way he should


In August of 2009 I experienced a week that held as equally low lows as it did high highs.

August 6th my grandmother woke me up asking me to call my grandfather because she was having such abdominal pain she could barely take a full breath.  Papa came home and the two of use took her to the emergency room.

They did test after test and while they were waiting for results they suggested my grandfather and his very pregnant granddaughter go get something to.  Not too long after lunch I was struck with severe abdominal pain, though mine was much different than my grandmothers… mine were contractions.

While they were real (not Braxton Hicks) they were so far apart that the hospital wouldn’t admit me.  I was told to take it easy and come back if they got closer together.

They decided grandma’s issue was pancreatitis and admitted her.  Papa took me home to rest and then spent the evening with her until they had her settled into a room.

That night we received a call around 2am, there had been a mistake with her morphine button, it had been set to be a continuous drip.  She had been overdosed on morphine and while she could breath in, her lungs were so relaxed they wouldn’t expel carbon dioxide.  Grandma was moved to the ICU and put on a ventilator to help her to breath.

I sat outside the doors to the ICU praying grandma would be all right.  Hoping she’d get to see my daughter be born.  I held her hand for a few minutes before Papa took me home again hoping it wouldn’t be the last time I saw her.

It wasn’t. August 12th they moved her from the ICU to her own room.  They still didn’t know what was wrong with her but she was out of the ICU.

That night I couldn’t get comfortable in bed, so I went to the basement, turned on the TV and laid down on the couch.  Of course that’s where by very pregnant butt fell asleep.

I woke up at 4 am, thought “well that was smart”, and went to turn off the TV.  As I bent over to hit the power button I felt a pop, and then a lot of liquid.  I knew what had happened.  There was no question in my mind.

I changed out of my nightgown, stuffed my pants with towels (hoping to contain the puddle i trailed around after me) and woke my grandfather.

I knocked on my grandparent’s bedroom door and said, “Papa?”.  The poor stressed out man sat straight up and exclaimed, “Tessie!!”

I said, “No, Papa, it’s me. I need to go to the hospital now.”

The only night I have ever seen Papa get ready faster was when they called about Grandma.

At 5:58 pm on August 13th, 2009 my daughter was born



She is almost 5 years old, and today, I registered her for kindergarten.  I look at this person she is becoming and I feel like all I’ve done is blink and she has changed so much.


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I’ll be honest.  I’m not sure if I am ready for her to begin Kindergarten.  But I am proud of her.  She continues to amazing me daily.  She makes me laugh often.  She is compassionate and sensitive to other people.  She is just an amazing girl and I can not wait to see what an amazing young lady she will become.


But I’m happy with keeping her the cute little kid she is for as long as I’m allowed.


I Don’t Feel 4!!!





Yesterday my daughter learned a hard lesson.  She learned that growing up means sacrifice.  But she also learned that as we have to give things up, new, more exciting things come along.

We were at my in-laws house and they have a swing set there.  Two swings are regular board seats, and one is for babies.  Ewok likes the baby swing.  But yesterday she could no longer fit in it.  The buckle just would not latch with her sitting in the seat.

The water works started as I explained to her that she’s growing up.  She’s getting taller, stronger, and older.

Ewok looked right into my eyes as exclaimed; “mommy, I don’t feel four!”

I explained she might not feel any different, but she was, she was changing everyday. And then I offered to teach her how to swing on the “big kid” seats.  This appealed to her.


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I must say she did far better at that than I did last night when my husband attempted to teach me to drive a stick shift in his ’85 Ford Ranger.

Happy Birthday Ewok!!!

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Four years ago today I welcomed a beautiful, energetic, baby girl into this world and into my life.

Alayna Mae

I still remember her as a baby but she is far from a baby now.



Happy Birthday Ewok!!!

Mommy Loves You!



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