Often I feel much more qualified to talk about parenting than marriage here. This November my husband and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary. I’ve been a parent since August 13th, 2009, I’ve only been a wife since November 10th, 2012.
But with everything, the longer you live it, the more your learn, the more confident you are.
I’m still figuring all this out. I’m still trying to learn to balance work, and kids, time with my husband, housework, time to myself and time with my friends (the last two get sacrificed because I haven’t figured out the first four effectively).
This summer that I have had off work has been a great help in figuring out how to organize my cleaning so that it begins to look like I am actually cleaning the house.
I’m also learning that being a wife is more than being a house keeper, kid wrangler, and cook.
Being a wife is about the choices I make, the mood I set for the household. Not every day will be a good day. Some days will be tense. That is the nature of all relationships. But when I make the choice to push through the tough times and set a good tone with my mood for the household, my children and husband will be calmer and happier.
Our wedding day was a busy day. By 7 pm I was a soup for brains worthless heap of human flesh. If you were to ask me a question (my husband did) it was met with a blank, I’m no longer home, look.
The wedding wasn’t the end of the work. It was the start. It’s not a natural thing to consider others all the time, but that is what marriage is. There may be things I want to do or buy but I have to stop and consider what everyone else in the household needs. What is going on with other’s schedules, and decide accordingly. It is no longer about me, it is about us, and our “us” started out as a family of three with number four planning his appearance quickly there after.
I am thankful that God brought my husband into my life. When it happened is seemed like the worst timing, but the long distance relationship at the beginning taught us something that many couples struggle with for years, being able to communicate effectively. Communication was all we really had.
Marriage isn’t easy, but if you’re willing to put in the work, adjust your attitude from “me” to “we”, you can have the fairy tail, and you won’t even need to wear a corset – well unless you’re into that sort of thing.