When my husband and I met I lived in Louisiana and he lived up here in Pennsylvania. We met online, but it was not your normal online dating experience.
My husband and I graduated from the same high school. When my grandmother found out about this she asked me; “Why didn’t you two date when you were in high school?
To which i responded, “Because he was a senior and I was in the seventh grade.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I wouldn’t have liked that very much.”
I knew who he was, we have mutual friends. That’s how we connected on facebook. One of his friends, who was one of my friends, commented on my blog, he saw her comment, and commented as well and then we began talking via computer and then by phone.
His youngest brother and I have biology class together, and his father was my English teacher in seventh, tenth, and twelfth grade.
The beginning of our relationship was dependent on communication. Without it we would not have had any relationship.
A Valentine commercial by Kay Jewelers brings the issue of communication to life in our electronic, social media driven culture with their slogan:
Spend less time communicating and more time connecting.
My husband and I talk by text, and share stuff on facebook, but we also take time to just be together, to make sure we make that connection each day.
Family dinners (with no TV on), talking to one another face to face not through an electronic device — and really listening to the other person.
Having good communication is great, and cell phones and social media does make it easier to communicate. But you can communicate yourself out of a relationship if you don’t take the time to nurture the connection you share.
In this era where we can communicate all day with never connecting with the individual (be it a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or spouse) I went to Holtz Psychological Services and borrowed their list:
10 Ways to Connect with Your Significant Other Daily
- Leave a note in your significant other’s lunch bag, saying something like, “I love you” or I’m thinking of you right this very moment.”
- Text your partner throughout the day. Let him/her know he/she is on your mind, even though you are in the middle of a busy workday or taking care of the children.*
- Leave at least 10 minutes before you fall asleep at night. Hold each other’s hands, even if you are not talking.
- Say ‘Thank you” to your significant other for at least one thing every day.
- Compliment your partner before he/she leaves the house for work. A compliment goes a long way. Encourage one another.
- Show interest in your partner’s day.
- Give your partner a meaningful hug. A hug of about 20 seconds or longer releases oxytocin, a chemical that helps you bond and connect!
- Get up or turn toward your partner when they walk in after a workday. Say hello and give them a kiss, even if just for a second.
- Make eye contact.
- Laugh together. Sharing a laughable moment with your significant other improves your connection and hey, let’s face it, laughter feels great!
*Remember to leave something to talk about at home so you’re not left in awkward silence.
Finally Holtz Psychological Services gives this reminder:
Small connections add up to much bigger rewards. Get connected. Stay connected!
Communication is great, but maintaining the connection is paramount. And remember when all seems too hard, God is there and can do what we can not.