Stickin’, Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day…
This was the title of today’s chapter in the book Made to Crave in our Made to Crave Online Bible Study. And for me it was one of those days and it started yesterday.
Last night I was putting away laundry while I watched one of my favorite shows, Face/Off. It is a competition on the sy-fy channel for the next big name is movie make up and character creations.
Ewok comes in and tells me her tummy is bothering her. I tell her to go to the bathroom and see if maybe she needs to go potty. She tells me that’s not the issue. I ask her if she thinks she needs to throw up. She tells me no. I suggest getting some water and seeing if laying down and getting some rest will help. I get her tucked back in bed, finish putting the clothes away and then comes the sound.
Every parent knows the sound. It makes your blood run cold, and if you’re nearby you instinctively put out your hands (I still don’t know why parents do it thought I’ve been guilty of it myself). Yes, it was the sound of my daughter vomiting. She made it to the bathroom. Not in, and definitely not to the toilet. The floor was covered and so was she… and should I mention I do not handle vomit well.
I called for my husband who actually has the fortitude to laugh and give our daughter kudos for distance and splatter range, and sets upon it with our rainbow vac. The vacuuming up sounded worse than it did coming out and thus I needed to step away before I added to the puddle.
About 2:30 in the morning this was repeated, except she never made it out of her bed and my husband found her crying when he got up to use the restroom. We changed the sheets, got her cleaned up and went back to bed. She had a slight fever and so this morning we decided she needed a day of rest. She stayed home from school.
Believe it or not this made my morning more hectic than it normally is because instead of getting her ready to go to school, I got up and got both kids ready to stay home with dad. I left the house late, got across town and realized I had forgotten to leave the car seat at home in case they needed to go anywhere. I doubled back and now realized I would not get to work in time to make and eat breakfast and in the mayhem I hadn’t packed a lunch either.
Normally on a day like this I indulge myself in a devil’s food cake doughnut (or two), then I would buy a “healthy” lunch and add to it pop, chips, candy, anything that would make the bad morning feel better.
This morning I by passed the doughnuts and bought a breakfast sandwich, it means I have to watch my carbohydrates the rest of the day but it’s worlds better than the doughnuts. Then for lunch I bought a turkey wrap and a small salad and that was all.
No junk and guess what?
My day didn’t get worse because I didn’t indulge!
I didn’t spend all day feeling guilty for not eating well.
And after praying to God to help me not feel guilty for going to work when my child was sick and thanking God for the strength to not give into my emotions and helping me to chose what will benefit me long term over what feels good now, I went to work feeling ok…
This whole experience opened my eyes to the truth that lies at the core of the Bible Study….
I was Made for More…
I was made for more than these temptations that hound me.
I was made for more than the cycle of feeling guilty because I’ve over eaten and then eating because I feel guilty.
I was made for more than eating out of boredom.
I was made for more than this slow, achy, overweight body.
The truth of the matter is that only God provides fulfillment, only God can calm my fears and relieve my anxieties. When I allow the truth of who God is and who I am in Christ to be the core of my life, then God can give me the dreams and hopes he desires for me and I can crave him more than that late morning doughnut.
I’m finally seeing this change in my life and it is so exciting and incredibly energizing.
I thank God for his strength and for the fact that today (my weigh in day), i’m down 4.5 lbs from last week.