Kids are Gross!

“I’m done!”

 

Any parent who has ever reached the potty training age with their child knows what the above phrase translates to: “come wipe my butt”.

And you hold no more pride or pretense when you walk into that bathroom and your child has assumed the position with their poopy butt facing the open door they never bothered to shut in the first place.

We say things like, “What do you have in your mouth? Spit it out!” and then you foolishly offer your hand for them to spit into before waiting to find out WHAT is actually in their mouth.

I have a four year old and a four month old and to say I’ve seen some gross things is an understatement.  Today my daughter did something that was a special sort of vile even for the girl who keeps a clean spot licked on my car bumper.

I came across a list on The Stir of the 16 grossest things a parent does for their child.  I have done most of them.

 

I have

1. Wiped a poopy butt (between diapers and potty training who hasn’t?)

2. Caught Vomit

Can someone please tell me why this is an instinctual reaction to the gag when the child is anywhere near you?

3. Let my child wipe her dirty hands on my clothes

4. Sniffed a baby diaper (hey its quicker than undressing them to be sure it was them)

5. Scooped poop from a tub – my dad thought this particular incident was rather amusing.

6. Accepted a booger

This is what Ewok did to me today!

Ewok: “Mommy, I have something for you”

I offered my hand… Why did I offer my hand?

Me: “Eew what is it?”

Ewok: “A Booger”

Me: “Where did you get it?”

Ewok: “My nose”

Well at least it was hers and not someone else’s that she found and claimed.

7. Admired poop (what parent doesn’t do this to encourage their child to keep up the good work of going in the potty?)

8. Helped her pee in the woods (unless you intend to go in the spider filled outhouse, if you’re lucky enough to have the spider filled outhouse, then you need to know this one, best taught early — by the way we camp in the word, and not in campers with toilets, but with tents and sleeping bags).

To see the rest of the list check out:

What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done for your child?

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