Be What You Are

Brad Paisley’s “I’m Still a Guy” is one of my husband’s favorite songs [Above].  It has a special meaning to him, mostly because he is very much a guy.   I might paint my fingernails, exfoliate my skin, and occasionally put on a clay facial mask (and then he teases me that I look like the creature from the black lagoon). I use lotion.  I have different lotions for my face, my body, my hands, and my feet.

My husband feels if he had the same “routine” as I have he’d have to beat himself up.

Modern culture calls this chauvinistic, but the fact that he is a GUY is what attracts me to him the most.

My husband is caring, and affectionate, respectful, loving, but he is still a guy.  He thinks like a guy, reacts and responds like a guy.

I’ve started to notice ways men and women are different.  If I say to my husband “that [object] needs to go upstairs” my husband will go upstairs and not take it with him.  Did he hear me? Yes!  Did he ignore me? No!  But since I did not straight out ask him “hey hun will you take [object] upstairs?”  He doesn’t realize that was the expectation.

Like wise if he said the same thing to me while I was busy doing something I would tend to get upset with him that I was busy and why couldn’t he do it.  And he would get confused and flustered with me snapping at him for something he was trying to tell me that he was going to take it up later.  He was trying to tell me not to worry about it being there that he plans on moving it later.

Same phrase, we both react to it differently.  Why?  Because I’m a woman and he’s a man.  There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing derogatory about that.  We were created differently.  The Bible says that woman was created to be the man’s help mate.  We were created to be compliments of one another. NOT THE SAME.

I have one friend who wrote a blog recently that says it better than i can even express it here.  Check out Pittsburgh Writer’s:

Dating a Male Writer – 1

Where we as woman need to remember that the men in our lives are just that, Men, to expect them to think and react like us is a great disservice to them.

Likewise we as women should be allowed to be women.  Yes we live in a man’s world. But we can still be successful women in that world.

Recently I reread a book called Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  Elisabeth Elliot is the widow of missionary Jim Elliot who was killed by a native tribe in South America.  At the time her husband was killed she was pregnant with their daughter.  A few years later she went with her young child as a missionary to the very tribe that killed her husband.  The tribe was weary of outsiders and often attacked first and asked questions later.  When she had built a report with some of the elders of the tribe she asked about the incident and was told that after the 5 men had been killed they realized that the men had guns.  They had guns that could have been used to protect themselves but had chose not to fire upon the tribe.  When other missionaries came again later they let them in.

In Let Me Be A Woman, Elisabeth is writing a book to her daughter who is about to get married.  She talks about how the feminist movement did much to bring us as women equality in a world that was male oriented.  However it went beyond that to the point where women are forgetting how to be women.  We’re taking on the man’s role, leaving the men with the woman’s role to fill, and this is not how either of us (men or women) function.  This leads both to stress, frustration, and many failed relationships.

It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is a distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Woman can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the humen race. And femininity has it’s limitations. So has masculinity… To do this is not to do that. To be this is no to be that. To be a woman is not to be a man. To be married is not to be single… To marry this man is not to marry all the others. A choice is a limitation.

~Let Me Be A Woman~

Elisabeth Elliot

Here is the base of it.  Man or woman, writer, teacher, mechanical genius (my husband — at least he is to me)… Whatever it is you are.. be that proudly, and accept what others are.  Don’t expect others to be what you are, let them be who they are and appreciate them for that.

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